i was listening to the song called this is your life by switchfoot earlier and it hit me hard. like a truck. i had as my facebook status 'sometimes you gotta ask yourself are you who you wanna be' and my friend commented and said. are you? and the honest answer i can give you is no im not.
im not saying im fake. but i feel like sometimes im not myself around everyone i know.
like for example at my school.....im not sure im myself there....i act WAY different when im out at youth group/church or with friends. i dont get it. why cant i be myself when i with the people ive been going to school with for 13 years and not be myself.....my true self around them.....i mean im me around them but i just wish they could really see me. like my friends as church/youth group and neighborhood does. if they did, they would see me as a totally different person.
like today for instance we had this spaghetti dinner at my church to help raise money for my senior missions trip. and i was myself. total self....until they started being ignorant about something that happened back in october...we wont get into it because nothing happened. but why still talk about the past? why nit learn to let go.
anyway back to the subject. i always like to think and i wish i had gone on a walk to just think today but i was just so tired.
i just feel like im living totally different at school then i am outside of school....see a problem
but then someone asked me who i want to be. i want to be real. i want to be the girl that everyone gets to know.....not listens to stupid crap that happened 2 plus years ago. and thats why they wont get to know me because i was weird? well dude that was two years ago.
ive changed
for the better
i me outside of school
but im not sure i know how to be real. i know when we go on the trip i'll be myself just like i am outside of school
maybe i am myself?
they just dont like it. but i dont know its all too confusing.
but really take the time to think are you who you want to be you might change your mind about somethings...like drugs, alchohol sex....you may realize that thats not you and you need to change. and not do those things. but be YOU not who your friends want you to be. be what God wants you to be and what YOU want to be which should be what God wants for you.
just be yourself(:
