Theres only one person who reads this so just think of it as me telling you all about my life. Pretty soon I'll probably make one of me at Honor Academy - yes I got accepted. I leave in 17 days! 10 days after Christmas. There's so much to tell you.
Well, I don't think I've written since the beginning of 2011. Heres I go (sorry it jumps around I'm in a rush) I got into Honor Academy! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I leave January 5th!thats 10 days after Christmas AND me and that guy are no longer THANK GOD!
I had to be strong when he wanted me back, its like he always has to have someone to talk to or something and doesn't want a relationship. He was going out with this one girl, who lives in Arizona because something happened and her parents sent her there. Well then it said she was in a relationship with him but yesterday it stopped. Needless to say I TOLD HER SO! I told her to be careful. But guaranteeing in 2 weeks (give or take) he asks for her back, he'll say I miss you blah blah blah. Then they'll be 'happy' once again.
Same sitch like it was with me.
BUT I'm so asdfghjkl over this guy. Not the one above ^^ he's long gone. Although I contemplated with the fact that I might add him back on facebook....I tried talking to him on there through messages but he hasn't replied. Well anyone back to the guy I like.
I liked him since May/June he liked me back, he had gone through a bad break up in like March or something. He knew I was involved with said jerk above who I talked about all the time. He didn't want to be a homewrecker. as well I think he didn;t want me to feel like a rebound for him. We became fast friends. SuperClose. I still can't believe we're this close, we lost touch for a few weeks/months in the summer but then I saw him almost every week at Beachmont. I decided that I would tell him I like him (in the summer) Yes, Stevo I actually did) I didn't say it face-to-face well scratch that, because I think skype counts as face-to-face...anyway he said I'm like his sister and that our friendship is too important to him to ruin with a relationship if we don't work out.
So in a way he's sparing both our feelings, we're still young and don't know what we want. Maybe one day him and I will be together. If that's the way God planned it, there's no way telling what will happen. Especially with me becoming a wonderful woman of God thanks to the Honor Academy! I'm so excited for that! I might be my special guy there, or he might be right under my nose!
But even if said guy and I don't go out, I'm fine with being his friend and sister, After all since I'm his sister he'll respect me..which is awesome. I love how he respects me. and that we can be best friends.
EVERYONE and I'm not kidding when I say EVERYONE thinks him and I would be cute together, even some people thought he was my boyfriend, that's how it seems. But I honestly think that's a sign.
What do you think? (and yes I want you to answer)
Uhm I don't know if i have more to write, or type. but I have to go out to lunch now and then ready for my last day of work until the year 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ever feel...
ever feel that what your doing is really right but you dont know if its the right thing or not?
yeah me too. i always think the worse. i always think that something is wrong when someone doesnt answer the phone or text me back. weird right? i hate it. because nothing is ever wrong....although sometimes it is. it cant be now though. it cant be. because if friday night is horrible i have no clue what id do.
its supposed to be a good night. i hope everything is fine and works out.
yeah me too. i always think the worse. i always think that something is wrong when someone doesnt answer the phone or text me back. weird right? i hate it. because nothing is ever wrong....although sometimes it is. it cant be now though. it cant be. because if friday night is horrible i have no clue what id do.
its supposed to be a good night. i hope everything is fine and works out.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Are You Who You Wanna Be? Am I Who I Wanna Be?
i was listening to the song called this is your life by switchfoot earlier and it hit me hard. like a truck. i had as my facebook status 'sometimes you gotta ask yourself are you who you wanna be' and my friend commented and said. are you? and the honest answer i can give you is no im not.
im not saying im fake. but i feel like sometimes im not myself around everyone i know.
like for example at my school.....im not sure im myself there....i act WAY different when im out at youth group/church or with friends. i dont get it. why cant i be myself when i with the people ive been going to school with for 13 years and not be myself.....my true self around them.....i mean im me around them but i just wish they could really see me. like my friends as church/youth group and neighborhood does. if they did, they would see me as a totally different person.
like today for instance we had this spaghetti dinner at my church to help raise money for my senior missions trip. and i was myself. total self....until they started being ignorant about something that happened back in october...we wont get into it because nothing happened. but why still talk about the past? why nit learn to let go.
anyway back to the subject. i always like to think and i wish i had gone on a walk to just think today but i was just so tired.
i just feel like im living totally different at school then i am outside of school....see a problem
but then someone asked me who i want to be. i want to be real. i want to be the girl that everyone gets to know.....not listens to stupid crap that happened 2 plus years ago. and thats why they wont get to know me because i was weird? well dude that was two years ago.
ive changed
for the better
i me outside of school
but im not sure i know how to be real. i know when we go on the trip i'll be myself just like i am outside of school
maybe i am myself?
they just dont like it. but i dont know its all too confusing.
but really take the time to think are you who you want to be you might change your mind about somethings...like drugs, alchohol sex....you may realize that thats not you and you need to change. and not do those things. but be YOU not who your friends want you to be. be what God wants you to be and what YOU want to be which should be what God wants for you.
just be yourself(:
im not saying im fake. but i feel like sometimes im not myself around everyone i know.
like for example at my school.....im not sure im myself there....i act WAY different when im out at youth group/church or with friends. i dont get it. why cant i be myself when i with the people ive been going to school with for 13 years and not be myself.....my true self around them.....i mean im me around them but i just wish they could really see me. like my friends as church/youth group and neighborhood does. if they did, they would see me as a totally different person.
like today for instance we had this spaghetti dinner at my church to help raise money for my senior missions trip. and i was myself. total self....until they started being ignorant about something that happened back in october...we wont get into it because nothing happened. but why still talk about the past? why nit learn to let go.
anyway back to the subject. i always like to think and i wish i had gone on a walk to just think today but i was just so tired.
i just feel like im living totally different at school then i am outside of school....see a problem
but then someone asked me who i want to be. i want to be real. i want to be the girl that everyone gets to know.....not listens to stupid crap that happened 2 plus years ago. and thats why they wont get to know me because i was weird? well dude that was two years ago.
ive changed
for the better
i me outside of school
but im not sure i know how to be real. i know when we go on the trip i'll be myself just like i am outside of school
maybe i am myself?
they just dont like it. but i dont know its all too confusing.
but really take the time to think are you who you want to be you might change your mind about somethings...like drugs, alchohol sex....you may realize that thats not you and you need to change. and not do those things. but be YOU not who your friends want you to be. be what God wants you to be and what YOU want to be which should be what God wants for you.
just be yourself(:
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Senior Year
wow this year has been amazing. despite some ignorance of the class. its great! i love being a senior its the greatest thing ever. 2011 just started. but that only means its closer to graduation. :) this year i will: turn 18 in march which hopflly means more freedom alot more freedom. i just need to talk to my parents about it. i get to leave the country without my parents in april to bonaire then for spring break im going to outer banks. never been away for spring break so this should be an experience. lol.
i working on getting my english grade up i just got a b on a quiz well 12 of 14 so thats like a b. which is good for me. i wont have to take some of my finals (health, history, bible, math) because i will have A's in those classes. i will probably have to take english but im okay with that.
what im not looking forward to is midterms coming up this month in like 2 weeks. eek i better hit the books and get to studying insead of blogging all the time. but i just had to write real quick because of the facebook status i posted about senior year:)
okay well im also very well looking forward to senior banquet better known as "prom" with no dancing and im excited because I WILL take the person i want to take. no matter what. and he already said yes like 2 months ago. :D i already snatched him. sorry ladies, but hes mine....well not officially but soon enough:)
i end school in late may. then i graduate june 3rd its crazy how close these dates are.
first comes midterms
then comes my birthday
then comes Boniare
then acquire the fire (which isnt with the senior class but im still excited for it)
then PROM with him <3
then school ending
then well GRADUATION!
then hello essex then honor academy in texas
good life right?
welllllll yeah its good but it hass some times when its down but just keep your chin held high and keep shooting for your dreams :)
i working on getting my english grade up i just got a b on a quiz well 12 of 14 so thats like a b. which is good for me. i wont have to take some of my finals (health, history, bible, math) because i will have A's in those classes. i will probably have to take english but im okay with that.
what im not looking forward to is midterms coming up this month in like 2 weeks. eek i better hit the books and get to studying insead of blogging all the time. but i just had to write real quick because of the facebook status i posted about senior year:)
okay well im also very well looking forward to senior banquet better known as "prom" with no dancing and im excited because I WILL take the person i want to take. no matter what. and he already said yes like 2 months ago. :D i already snatched him. sorry ladies, but hes mine....well not officially but soon enough:)
i end school in late may. then i graduate june 3rd its crazy how close these dates are.
first comes midterms
then comes my birthday
then comes Boniare
then acquire the fire (which isnt with the senior class but im still excited for it)
then PROM with him <3
then school ending
then well GRADUATION!
then hello essex then honor academy in texas
good life right?
welllllll yeah its good but it hass some times when its down but just keep your chin held high and keep shooting for your dreams :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
LoveLoveLove
Alot of people over use the words "I love you" but does that mean they really mean it? for me i dont say it unless i mean it.
But what is love really?
The dictionary says:
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
To me Love is:
Love is getting nervous or shy around that person no matter how long you've known them. Its when your heart skips beats EVERYTIME you see their name. whether it be on your facebook. or your phone. or when you hear his name. When you hear songs about liking or loving someone you think of them. only them. when their name pops up on your phone you cant help but smile. when you hear the special ringtone you had set for them you answer as soon as you hear it, even if your upset at them and you get really excited. When you see them you dont want to leave their side....you dont want the night or day to end. you miss them as soon as they leave. you cant let them go. you wont lwet them go. your afraid of being with them because you dont want to get hurt. you want to stay with them forever. you imagine both of you being together forever, getting married and living together. when they dont talk to you for a day or two you think somwthings wrong and start to worry about them. but in the end everything is okay. better than ever. its when you want to be with that person and nothing will stop you until your in their arms.
Gabby wrote this:
I love you. I adore you. I need you. I want you. I need your arms around me. Tell me im beautiful. Make me yours. Promise, you'll never leave. Hold me. Kiss my forehead. Tell your friends about me. Let me fall asleep on you. Kill the person that hurts me. Wrestle with me. Tickle me. Kiss me in the rain. Hug me tight. L...et me wear your hoodie. Sing, just to make me smile. Hold me when im crying. Pay for me. Laugh with me. Make me smile. Opens doors for me. Hold my hand. Tell me everything. & when you fall in love with me, tell me. I love you♥
But what is love really?
The dictionary says:
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
To me Love is:
Love is getting nervous or shy around that person no matter how long you've known them. Its when your heart skips beats EVERYTIME you see their name. whether it be on your facebook. or your phone. or when you hear his name. When you hear songs about liking or loving someone you think of them. only them. when their name pops up on your phone you cant help but smile. when you hear the special ringtone you had set for them you answer as soon as you hear it, even if your upset at them and you get really excited. When you see them you dont want to leave their side....you dont want the night or day to end. you miss them as soon as they leave. you cant let them go. you wont lwet them go. your afraid of being with them because you dont want to get hurt. you want to stay with them forever. you imagine both of you being together forever, getting married and living together. when they dont talk to you for a day or two you think somwthings wrong and start to worry about them. but in the end everything is okay. better than ever. its when you want to be with that person and nothing will stop you until your in their arms.
Gabby wrote this:
I love you. I adore you. I need you. I want you. I need your arms around me. Tell me im beautiful. Make me yours. Promise, you'll never leave. Hold me. Kiss my forehead. Tell your friends about me. Let me fall asleep on you. Kill the person that hurts me. Wrestle with me. Tickle me. Kiss me in the rain. Hug me tight. L...et me wear your hoodie. Sing, just to make me smile. Hold me when im crying. Pay for me. Laugh with me. Make me smile. Opens doors for me. Hold my hand. Tell me everything. & when you fall in love with me, tell me. I love you♥
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A real boyfriend
you will see me talking ALOT about love and guys one in particular. but this next post is from a real boyfriend this is how every boyfriend should act :)
Just read this, it will make a difference.
When she stares at your mouth Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you grab her and dont let go <3<3<3
When she's quiet ask her whats wrong
When she pulls away Pull her back <3<3<3<3
When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind <3 <3 <3
When she's scared Protect her <3 <3 <3
When she steals your favorite hoodie Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night :) :) :) <3
When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh
When she says that she loves you she really does more than you can understand (this is true)
When she grabs at your hands Hold her's and play with her fingers :) :) :)
When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh :p
When she looks at you in your eyes dont look away until she does :D
When she says it's over she still wants you to be hers.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you :) :) :)
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick :) :) :)
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-Let her know she's important.
- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain <3 <3 <3
so i put like a smile a heart things like that on the things i think are the sweetest. guys should always treat their ladies right.
my guy said he'll keep me safe. and he has NEVER said that to a girl before. so tells me something...i cannot wait for the day when him and i officially get together:)
When she stares at your mouth Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you grab her and dont let go <3<3<3
When she's quiet ask her whats wrong
When she pulls away Pull her back <3<3<3<3
When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind <3 <3 <3
When she's scared Protect her <3 <3 <3
When she steals your favorite hoodie Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night :) :) :) <3
When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh
When she says that she loves you she really does more than you can understand (this is true)
When she grabs at your hands Hold her's and play with her fingers :) :) :)
When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh :p
When she looks at you in your eyes dont look away until she does :D
When she says it's over she still wants you to be hers.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you :) :) :)
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick :) :) :)
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-Let her know she's important.
- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain <3 <3 <3
so i put like a smile a heart things like that on the things i think are the sweetest. guys should always treat their ladies right.
my guy said he'll keep me safe. and he has NEVER said that to a girl before. so tells me something...i cannot wait for the day when him and i officially get together:)
Things that make me smile/things i like
Cute text.
Cute Movies
Cute Kids
Guys who are nice...and gorgeous
theese songs:
the space between - valencia
heartbeat - stereo skyline
smile - uncle kracker
like we used to - a rocket to the moon
some other song too but these are mine for right now.
him (someone special)
a walk to remember
the notebook
finding nemo
despicable me
my dog
my friends
gabby marie
pictures
jokes
inside jokes
God
youth group
music
people who care
christmas
hearts
i love yous
people telling me how they feel (if its good)
good morning texts
goodnight texts
sunrises
sunsets
sleeping
good dream
being with him
thinking about him
graduating
turning 18
outer banks
honor academy (but it also scares me)
love
hugs
bear hugs (where my feet come off the ground)
pillow talk
water
soda (i shouldnt drink it the way i do)
my hair
my phone (typical)
purity
kiss on forehead
kiss on cheek
kiss agianst the wall
falling asleep in someones arms
voice messages to wake up to
his voice
writing me cute notes
visiting me at work
piggy back rides
kissing in the rain
kissing when fireworks go off
going to new york city on new years
philly
tackling ;)
sweet kissess.
his kisses.
pretty lights
vampires
smiles
classic rock
lip biting
neck kissing
uhm all the other really cute things :)
last but not least Gabby Marie<3 bestest friend:)
this (some are repeated but these aee really cute things)
all these things make me smile but i put a :D next to the ones that will make me smile most ;)
*1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott or sexy.
*2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second.
*3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
*4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
*5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
*6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her howmuch she means to you.
*7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
*8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
*9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
*10 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
*11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
*12 . Play with her hair.
*13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
*14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
*15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
*16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
*17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
*18. Carve your names into a Tree.
*19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
*20 . Give her piggyback rides.
*21 . Bring her Flowers just because.
*22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
*23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
*24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
*25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
*26 . Kiss her in the rain. :
*27 . If your in love with her . ..TELL HER
Cute Movies
Cute Kids
Guys who are nice...and gorgeous
theese songs:
the space between - valencia
heartbeat - stereo skyline
smile - uncle kracker
like we used to - a rocket to the moon
some other song too but these are mine for right now.
him (someone special)
a walk to remember
the notebook
finding nemo
despicable me
my dog
my friends
gabby marie
pictures
jokes
inside jokes
God
youth group
music
people who care
christmas
hearts
i love yous
people telling me how they feel (if its good)
good morning texts
goodnight texts
sunrises
sunsets
sleeping
good dream
being with him
thinking about him
graduating
turning 18
outer banks
honor academy (but it also scares me)
love
hugs
bear hugs (where my feet come off the ground)
pillow talk
water
soda (i shouldnt drink it the way i do)
my hair
my phone (typical)
purity
kiss on forehead
kiss on cheek
kiss agianst the wall
falling asleep in someones arms
voice messages to wake up to
his voice
writing me cute notes
visiting me at work
piggy back rides
kissing in the rain
kissing when fireworks go off
going to new york city on new years
philly
tackling ;)
sweet kissess.
his kisses.
pretty lights
vampires
smiles
classic rock
lip biting
neck kissing
uhm all the other really cute things :)
last but not least Gabby Marie<3 bestest friend:)
this (some are repeated but these aee really cute things)
all these things make me smile but i put a :D next to the ones that will make me smile most ;)
*1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott or sexy.
*2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second.
*3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
*4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
*5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
*6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her howmuch she means to you.
*7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
*8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
*9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
*10 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
*11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
*12 . Play with her hair.
*13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
*14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
*15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
*16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
*17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
*18. Carve your names into a Tree.
*19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
*20 . Give her piggyback rides.
*21 . Bring her Flowers just because.
*22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
*23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
*24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
*25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
*26 . Kiss her in the rain. :
*27 . If your in love with her . ..TELL HER
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